Losing yourself

Posted on January 27, 2012 by

There are different ways of losing yourself. One way is to always surrender to the needs of other people and let them bully you into being what they want you to be, at the expense of what you want. This is excruciating.

Another way is to surrender to your own highest good, your higher self, your best. Too often we are scared to surrender to our own best life because we’re scared of being bullied into something we don’t want – scared of being bullied by ourselves the same way we are pushed by others, away from pleasure, toward pain.

And so we spend our lives hiding in fear from the very life that would be most full of passion, joy and connection.

If that’s where you’re at, don’t beat yourself up for it. It’s kind of where I’m at right now. I know that I’m not ready for a huge, life-altering change right now. But I’m ready to make little changes and do little things to get me a step closer to my best life.

So I’m writing this and posting it because writing is part of my best life.

There.

Done. [pat on the back]

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Checking in

Posted on January 24, 2012 by

I haven’t been writing much lately. I’ve been working long hours up north. I’m kinda bored with life. It’s not that I don’t have time to write. It’s that I feel like I have nothing to say that the world would find important enough to read.

But I know some people miss seeing new posts, so I’ll try to post small things once in a while. Nothing major. Just little paragraphs to share some little thing I thought of and want to share.

Hopefully that’s okay.

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Remembrance Day

Posted on November 10, 2011 by

At 11:00 on 11/11/11, millions of people will take a minute or two of silence to remember those that have died defending our freedom. We collectively honor those that made the ultimate sacrifice, fighting and dying, so that we can enjoy liberty and prosperity.

The meaning of Remembrance Day (or Veterans Day) has changed for me over the years. For the first 20 years of my life, it was just what I wrote in the first paragraph. Then as I grew older, I lost interest. I became more interested in peace, so honoring those who made war did not suit me. Besides, the wars we remembered were so long ago as to have little significance in this age when Europe is united and allied with us.

Now our governments, perhaps missing the good old days of violence and death, have brought war back into fashion, starting new wars before the old ones are over, sending more and more troops overseas to defend our access to oil. I get more disgusted with war every year, as these wars drag on interminably, and poor young men die breaking into the homes of other poor people living on the other side of the world.

They are not dying to defend our freedom. They are dying to defend the wealth of the 1%.

Why is this happening? Well, it’s easy to point the finger at the 1% and at the government and at the right-wing nut-bars who want to shoot everything that moves. It’s not so easy to point the finger back at myself.

There is war in my world because other people are just like me. They want to fight. As much as I want peace, I fight. I get angry and blame other people for whatever I perceive as wrong in my world. Sometimes I just want to smack them. I get so mad at people who hurt my world, who hurt my feelings, who fail to live up to my expectations. I blame the “right-wing nut-bars.” I blame selfish jerks. I blame people who cut me off in traffic. I blame Wall Street. Some part of me – the part I don’t let out in public – is even capable of pulling the trigger and killing someone, given the right (or wrong) circumstances. It’s a terrible war, going on in here.

There is war in this world because there is war in my heart, and in the hearts of other people like myself. And war will continue to kill us and ravage our society as long as we give that war a place to exist.

This Remembrance Day, I will pause for two minutes of silence, not only to remember young men like me who gave their lives fighting fascism 70 years ago, but to look upon the war going on today. The wars being fought overseas, and the war being fought in my own self.

Somewhere in that moment of silence, I hope I can envision a world without that war.

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The Revolution

Posted on October 14, 2011 by

I heard on the news this morning that Occupy Wall Street protests have spread to 1600 cities worldwide. Part of me wants to click the Like button. Part of me is worried.

On one hand, I’m glad that the masses are finally rising up against their oppressors, seeing the financial charade for what it is, and demanding change. I’m hopeful that this will lead to real and lasting change. And I’m optimistic that this could lead to a better world where we have more support in the local community and less reliance on megacorporations for our security.

On the other hand, I’m worried. I’m worried because a bunch of angry people are demanding that the government clamp down on a minority and take their freedoms away because they want revenge on this minority that controls the banking system and makes everyone’s lives miserable. I’m worried because that’s pretty much how the Nazis got their start in Germany.

I’m not trying to call the Wall Street protesters “Nazis.” I’m just saying that their message has similar elements to Hitler’s message from 80 years ago. And it also appears that, instead of trying to bring more power to the local community, these protesters are talking way too much about giving the government more power and responsibility. Yes, this government that they say is corrupt and catering to Wall Street, is also the government that the protesters want to give more power to.

Revolutions are never very clean or orderly. This one on Wall Street is pretty messy. Messy in many ways. Hundreds of campers with no washroom facilities except the ones they borrow from the very corporations that they are trying to bring down, for example. But also messy in the sense that they have no real coherent message for what they want to build – only what they want to tear down. They are mad as hell at the corporations, but at the same time they want the corporations to give them jobs and take care of them.

Okay. All that is as it is. I’m not saying we should stop protesting and go home. I think that we are living at a time of unprecedented opportunity, when these protests can lead to a major shake-up of the powers that have taken so much power away from us. The previously unshakeable has begun to show cracks in the foundation. We have the opportunity to take back our power and build something new.

But what do we build? If Wall Street should crumble and the government go down with it, what do we do then?

I’d like to see more power focused in local community groups, where we can take care of each other on a more humane level. Many protesters want the government to take care of the people, but governments only know bureaucracy. Governments don’t know anything about compassion. If we want compassionate communities where people are taken care of, then we will need to build those for ourselves.

We have to do it.

What do you think?

Posted in business, politics | 3 Comments

Stuff I learned at Burning Man

Posted on September 10, 2011 by

I got back from Burning Man the other day. This was my third Burn. (For more on my second Burn in 2009, click here and here.)

It was tough this year. It was a lot of work, and I had to face some obstacles. I don’t regret going, but I could use a vacation to recover.

With obstacles, come learning and growth opportunities (if done correctly). Here’s a little of what I learned at Burning Man this year:

1. Shit happens. Good, bad, stuff that appears bad but is actually good – it all just happens. Sometimes there is no one to blame or to thank. The playa giveth and the playa taketh away. There may or may not be any reason or hidden message behind it. The trick is to roll with it and respond in such a way that you get where you need to go.

2. Work doesn’t do itself. When it’s 35C (95F) outside, and the plan is to get 6 more domes up before sundown, then get some water and electrolytes and grab a tool. Figure out what has to be done first and do that. Find out what has to be done next and do that. No sense in crying about it.

3. Take breaks. No sense in killing yourself over this stuff.

4. Put sunscreen everywhere. The sun is not very selective about where it shines. This includes parts that may dangle out of shorts while sitting cross-legged. (And ladies: parts that may dangle in loose-fitting shirts.)

5. When people gather from all over the world for a week of fun together, it’s best to appreciate the immediacy and impermanence of the experience. Enjoy it now. Love the people now, in this moment. You may never see them again. The playa giveth, and the playa taketh away. This happens in the Default World, too. Enjoy what you have right now – you never know how long you will have it.

6. When a pretty girl thinks you’re sexy and wants to make out with you, don’t argue. Moisten those lips and start smooching.

6a) When the unexpected happens, whether good or bad, our first instinct is to ask “why.” Why did my friend just take off and leave me stranded? Why did a stranger just hand me an ice cold beer and walk away? Why does this pretty girl think I’m sexy and want to make out with me? Sometimes we’ll never know why. The thing is, it happened, it is happening, and now all I can do is respond.

7. Sometimes when someone wants to argue, there’s no sense in trying to make peace. Saying something or not saying something, apologizing or defending, it makes no difference. They want to yell at you for something they’re feeling. Sometimes all you can do is let them vent until they’re done.

8. There is more than one way to get to Reno. Pick one and go. There is no perfect route.

9. If you don’t want to lose something, label it and lock it. You could be at the International Convention of Monks Against Theft. Lock it up anyway.

10. When aforementioned pretty girl finds another sexy man to spend time with, appreciate the gift of time already spent together, let go and move on. (See also points 5 and 6a above.)

11. The body changes in the desert. Don’t just eat and drink what you’re used to consuming. Eat and drink what the body is asking for right now. Sometimes that isn’t much of anything. Gatorade and beef jerky are great in the desert.

12. When you’re feeling really hot but not sweating, ask for help immediately. I was lucky to have 3 nurses and an icepack within reach. (Yes, we had icepacks in the middle of the desert. Chalk that up to foresight, a fridge and a solar panel.)

13. Throw all those petty grievances and resentments into the fire. You don’t need them any more. Burn it all. And then there is only gratitude and joy.

14. Who I’m choosing to be right now is more important than what’s happening to me. If I want to attract the right people and circumstances, I better get really focused on who I am and what I’m choosing.

15. Life is hard sometimes. It’s hard to make perfect choices. It seems like, no matter what you do, someone won’t like it. We’re all doing the best we can with what we got. We’re all trying. So, cut some slack. Recognize that people are doing their best, even if they aren’t doing what you think they should be doing. Recognize that you’re doing your best as well, even if you’re not getting all the results you want. Forgive and let live. Be gracious. Be compassionate. You deserve a break and so do others.

16. Everyone has love to give. Give them a chance to show it, and you will be surrounded by love.

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