How to have faith when the world is crap

Posted on February 3, 2011 by Craig

I’ve never really succeeded at optimism, because I could never completely ignore all the unhappy endings in the world. “All shall be well,” say the optimists (echoing Julian of Norwich), even as millions die every day from malnutrition and preventable diseases. How can you promise a happy ending to an impoverished single mother of five living in a third-world slum? Any belief in a fairy-tale romance for her is just magical thinking with no basis in reality.

However, I have learned a different kind of optimism, inspired by those who have risen above their circumstances to do great things. I have learned, despite all circumstances, that I have the power of intention on my side. I can choose a new intention for a better life for me and those I care about. I have the power of choice. I have the power to take action, even if my actions are somewhat limited by my circumstances. I have the power to change my world for the better.

I have more power than I’ve claimed in the past. And I am not bound by my past. I may be affected by my past; I have debts to pay, anger to resolve, excess weight to shed, and trust that needs mending. But this brokenness does not define me or confine me. I have the power to choose a new future and take action.

I have the power of compassion on my side. I am a co-conspirator with Spirit, an agent of the Divine. Yes, in fact, I am on a mission from God – and so are you. I can and I must tap into the fountain of compassion and beauty that lives in every human soul, and manifest it lavishly in the material world.

Having a bad past is not enough to stop me, but having a good intention is not enough to ensure my success. Good intention without action is just magical thinking and impotent optimism doomed to failure. As Saint Teresa of Calcutta put it: “Prayer without action is no prayer at all.” But with action, I bring the power of Spirit to bear on any situation, no matter how difficult, and have a chance of at least making it better.

Maybe I can’t cure all the diseases in the world, and maybe I can’t even stop a friend’s addiction, but I can do something. I can’t control the results, but I can have compassion and bring at least a little light and love to the situation. And as I continue to do what I can, where I can, believing in my intention, my strength of compassion has the opportunity to come out of the darkness and into the light, and it gets stronger with use.

In the past, my response to overwhelming difficulty was often anger mixed with powerlessness, leading to depression and stagnation. I equated positive intention with magical thinking in many cases (and not in a good way), because I didn’t believe in the power to create a happy ending. I still don’t believe it’s possible to guarantee that my actions will inevitably yield the results I want. But by giving in to depression and resignation, I deprived my world of much-needed action and compassion, and guaranteed failure.

I need love. My world needs love. I need to express love. It’s time to make a choice and go do something.

Posted in compassion, faith | 5 Comments

Don’t be evil

Posted on January 27, 2011 by Craig

I got a nice card in the mail today from Google Adsense. They are giving me $100 in free advertising. Nice.

I quote: “PS: This card was printed on 100% recycled paper embedded with wildflower seeds. Plant it in a sunny spot with a thin layer of soil, add water and watch it grow – while you watch your business grow with AdWords.”

That is so cute. And creative.

And – not to look a gift horse in the mouth or anything – kind of missing the point with environmental stewardship.

People use recycled paper and throw paper in the recycling bin, and think they are doing everything possible to help the planet. But let’s reconsider the 3 R’s: Reduce, Reuse, Recycle. What can we do to REDUCE the amount of paper we need? What if that $100 offer had been emailed to me, instead of sent with a dead tree and a petroleum-derived plastic card that is now littering my office space? I suppose now I’m more motivated to take action right away – to get the clutter off my desk and make use of that $100. But that’s a marketing reason, not an environmental reason.

All I’m saying is, it’s not helping the environment just because the paper has wildflower seeds in it and the card is printed on green plastic.

Posted in business, fun | Leave a comment

Dance

Posted on January 20, 2011 by Craig

Last weekend I went to a class on contact improvisation. How to describe it? It’s sort of a modern dance, without any set moves. A group of people – anywhere from 2 to 20 – moves through a room, and at some point, people come in contact with one another. One starts out being aware of one’s own body, and one’s contact with the floor, or oneself, or the walls, or props. Or it can also start with contact with another person. I don’t think there are rules about how it starts or how fast it moves.

Contact with another person brings up all kinds of issues for me. Am I allowed in their space? What kinds of signals are they giving back to me? What do I want in this interaction? What does the other person want? How is that reflected in the dance? How does my body want to move itself to feel safe and connected?

First contact seemed a bit like flirting, I guess, but nonsexually. A light touch in a safe area, sort of asking the question nonverbally – where do the bodies want to go from here? Getting permission, allowing a response, seeing what the response is doing and asking for.

This improvised dance is an experiment. I don’t know what the other person wants (or even what I want) until I move in that direction. I need to move to find out what’s next. I can’t know the whole thing in advance if I’m not moving and experimenting.

Okay, I’m going beyond dance into the rest of life now. I’ve been trying to play it safe for too long – to know the end from the beginning, to know the whole path before taking the first step. Stephen Covey advises that we always need to “begin with the end in mind,” but often I don’t know what the end will be when I’m taking the first step. I just know I need to take that step, to move closer to something I want right now, and see what happens when I get there.

I also took an intro class on the “Enneagram” the other night. I found out something I already knew: I’m strong on thinking, moderate on feeling, and weak on doing. Grr. Yes, I know. That shows up in my life as me pondering, thinking, daydreaming, fantasizing, planning, learning, reading and attending seminars… and then not stepping out to do something with all of it, because the brain is too scared to begin without a guarantee of perfection.

So now I dance.

And, we’ll see what happens.

Posted in fun, growth | Leave a comment

Mickey Loves Ya!

Posted on January 11, 2011 by Craig

A Facebook friend posed the question on her status update today: “Someone else’s faith in you can be like ignitor fluid. Do you know this feeling?”

I sure do. In fact, there are days when all I have is someone else’s faith in me. Do you know that feeling? When you feel like you’ve done everything you can, but it’s not enough, and you’re not enough, and none of it really matters anyway, and everyone else has more important stuff to offer the world than you do, because all you’ve got is your tiny little insignificant offering, and there are already a million other people offering the same thing, only better, faster, cheaper.

And just when you’re ready to throw in the towel and quit, your dear friend sitting next to you at the sushi bar suddenly lights up with something you just said. “Where did you get that from? Or did you just make that up yourself?” And then she tells you how brilliant you are, and suddenly an idea you thought was just idle chatter actually means something to someone. It’s not just a lame idea in the back of your head.

When I sit at home alone long enough, I lose my perspective. Ideas spin around in my head and go nowhere. There is no sounding board, no audience, no one to tell me if it matters. And then I write this blog, and fire a bunch of words out into the intervoid, and I don’t know if anyone reads or appreciates this, or if any of it matters. But then a friend tells me he’s read it and loves it. He didn’t leave a comment. All I got was a number on my site stats. But then he tells me that it meant so much to him, because he had never thought of it that way before. I had put something into words that he didn’t know how to express.

So, it matters.

Going on faith in myself only gets me so far. How do I know that I have a realistic self-assessment? How do I know if anything I do really matters? If I’m belittling myself or if I’m overly optimistic? I don’t know until people tell me.

I’m not saying we should devalue faith in ourselves, and only listen to what other people say about us. That is a slippery slope, and frankly, far too much like junior high to be of any use.

On the other hand, my friends have done a lot to help me out of depression and distorted self-images. My friends have helped me by bringing faith back that I did not have myself.

We can’t do this alone. At least, I can’t. I realize that I need an audience. Does that make me weak in self-esteem or weak in my faith? I don’t know. Maybe. But I have to say that I really appreciate it when I get positive feedback about my contribution to the world.

And I believe that community is important, and we need to promote community connections and support. Needing each other can’t be such a bad thing. Especially when it brings more love into the world.

So here’s your homework: Tell your friends and family what you most appreciate about them. Remind them about what they do well. Let your friends know that their presence on this planet really matters.

Oh – I almost forgot. Here’s the clip that inspired the title of this post. Be warned it has coarse language:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uVFB9VyN54

Posted in faith, gratitude | 2 Comments

Will 2011 be any different?

Posted on December 31, 2010 by Craig

A traveling salesman pulls into a rancher’s yard to ask for directions. The kindly old rancher invites the salesman to come and sit on the porch for a spell, and have a glass of lemonade. The salesman accepts.

As they chat in the shade, the salesman hears a dog whining and barking and putting up an awful fuss. He asks the rancher what’s the problem with his dog.

“Poor fella’s sittin’ on a nail,” the rancher responds.

“Well, why doesn’t he get up and move?”

“Well,” the rancher drawls, “I guess it don’t hurt enough yet.”

2010 was a tough year for a lot of people. I, for one, did more than my share of complaining about it, but less than my share of taking action. It seemed to me that the pain of doing something difficult was worse than the pain of staying stuck. There was no big emergency to force my hand – just the gradual erosion of my finances and my sense of wellbeing. Like cooking a live frog, slowly but surely.

I had ideas for things I could do: write a book, get my healing practice going with more clients, and stuff like that. When people asked me what I was up to, I didn’t want to tell the truth (which was pretty much nothing) so I told them what I wanted to do. I told them my goals. And that helped me hide the truth a little while longer. It helped me lie to myself about actually making positive changes (rather than just thinking and talking about it).

I’ve heard it said that the best way to achieve your goals is to tell as many people as possible. The theory goes that this will help keep you accountable, and will also signal others to support you where they can. Unfortunately, when the theory was tested in a psychological study, it turned out that people who share their goals with others are actually less likely to achieve them. Here is Derek Sivers in a TEDtalk to explain how that works:

So if you’re like me, and want 2011 to be better than 2010 (please, God, please), then don’t give yourself the satisfaction of telling a story that isn’t true. Instead of talking about it, we just need to suck it up and do something.

Because there is no hope for a better future if I’m not doing something right now to make it happen.

Posted in accountability, growth | 2 Comments