Sort-of-global warming


Today is the coldest November 28 in history for Calgary. It’s -29C out there. The Venezualan guy in the next cubicle must think my employer is pretty sadistic to have hired him and convinced him to move to Calgary. “It’s great,” they told him. “You’ll love it here.” He gets off the plane and next thing he knows he has to scrape his breath off his scarf.

But really, it’s not so bad. It should warm up to a balmy -23 today. Here’s hoping.

On a totally unrelated topic, I hear that Al Gore is going around telling everyone that global warming is a scientifically-proven fact now. There’s no escaping it. The world is becoming unbearably hot.

Okay. It’s not that us oil producers here in Calgary have our heads in the sand. It’s not that we’re trying to avoid the fact of global warming. It’s not even that we think it’s a good idea for the world’s climate to change. It’s just that we wish we could have a little of it – just a little – here in Calgary.

While the polar bears are floundering around in the warming waters of the high arctic, we’re freezing our noogies off down south here. Why should everyone else get the warm weather? Take us, please! We would be willing to sacrifice about five degrees centigrade on the high side so that Florida doesn’t turn into a desert. Let the polar bears have their ice back. Take ours. There’s enough on my car to float a 500-pound bear for a week.

Environmentalists would have a much easier time convincing Calgary’s oil barons that global warming really exists if we actually experienced some for a while.

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About Craig

Craig lives in Calgary, Alberta.
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