I just figured out that I’m a religious hypocrite. Yes, me. Blargh. I hate religious hypocrites. And yet, here I am, a hypocrite with a capital R.
Here is my dilemma: I am uncomfortable with people who try to convince me that their religion is true, especially when they want me to switch over to the other side and accept their beliefs as my own. It feels icky, like an Amway presentation. They want me to believe that I will have all this health, wealth and happiness if only I believe their message, which I just can’t believe, because it feels so fake to me.
Yet here I am, spreading my own brand of spirituality (politically correct version of religion) to the world. Not only sharing my point of view, but hoping to have a positive impact on the hearts and minds of humanity.
I thought I was a blogger. Honestly, though, it seems I’m something of an evangelist. And since I’m broadcasting my evangelism, that makes me something of a televangelist.
Thinking of it that way kind of makes me hate myself. Which makes me a double hypocrite, since I’m always preaching the importance of loving and forgiving oneself.
Seriously, though, I don’t really hate myself. (There, I’m denying it now.) I do find it disconcerting, however. And, actually seriously (like, for real this time) I do have to wonder how many people feel uncomfortable or avoid my blog because I’m so overtly spiritual, and so unabashed about inviting others to share in my hopes and dreams for love and peace in the world.
But why should you feel uncomfortable with me, and why do I feel uncomfortable around evangelical religious people sharing their message?
It’s because I feel like they’re not entirely honest. That must be it. Like they are pretending to care about me, when really they just want to get something from me. Maybe they honestly believe what they are saying, but I don’t believe that it’s true, so I feel like they’re trying to convince me of something that isn’t true, which is sort of dishonest. And dishonesty make me uncomfortable.
I like being around people who are genuine and honest. I don’t always share their point of view, but if they live their message out loud, then they don’t need to convince me logically that they are correct or that I should agree with them. If it makes sense, it will be obvious from the way they live their lives.
But back to me again (because I love talking about me) – my message and my life don’t always match up. I’ll be honest about that. I talk about forgiveness and I hold grudges. I talk about peace and I start arguments. I talk about love and I avoid people I don’t like.
I’m sharing this with you in the attempt at being honest, even if I’m not honest with myself all the time.
But I’m trying.