Mental Shoes

Posted on July 18, 2010 by Craig

The other day I found this video of Pema Chodron talking about shoes.

In her analogy, she talks about walking barefoot over sharp stones, and wounding one’s feet, to the point that you think, “If only I could cover the whole world in leather – then I would not cut my feet on the sharp stones!” Of course, the logical solution is to wear shoes, and cover one’s feet – not to cover the world.

But isn’t this how we treat the world with our minds? “If only we had a different government… If only there was no crime… If only I did not have to sit next to that crying baby…” Very often, our solution to suffering is to protest everything that causes suffering, rather than deal with the thoughts about the world that cause us to suffer.

Chodron’s solution is to train the mind, using meditation and other practices, to walk through this painful world without succombing to suffering.

I like the analogy, but that is easier said than done. It raises some other questions. For example, should Martin Luther King Jr. have sat down and said, “My dream is causing me to suffer. I should simply forgive the injustice, and pray that God will help me feel better despite the racist violence”? His path was to take a stand and change the world, rather than simply changing his view of the world.

Perhaps it works better on the more mundane level of traffic lights, barking dogs and bad weather. There will always be petty things that bug me. Trying to change the weather and the traffic lights would be impossible. So, I need to change how I respond to them. I need to cultivate inner peace in myself, so that when I encounter sources of pain and frustration, I can greet them from a place of inner strength.

Again, easier said than done. But perhaps finding inner peace would still be easier than fixing the whole world and covering every last sharp stone.

Posted in consciousness, meditation | 3 Comments

Some other beginning’s end

Posted on July 13, 2010 by Craig

I’ll be honest with you: I haven’t been blogging much lately because I don’t feel like I have much smart stuff to say right now. But since I claim to be all about authenticity, and showing up as I am without regret, then I better walk the walk.

It’s been 19 months now since I left my 6-figure job in oil and gas. I left that job without any other source of income lined up, or even a clear thought about what to do with my life. I knew I needed to get away to clear my head, get my soul back and start a new life. I had some savings, paid-up lines of credit and investments to live off of, and a glowing feeling in my heart that I was following my destiny.

All that is gone now.

Right now, I am in the “desert.” Not the awesome fun-filled desert of Burning Man, but the desert where people wander until they forget their old identity, forget their past, and gradually let everything go, except that one thread of faith in a higher power. I’m at a point now where I’m even forgetting my future. I’m willing to let go of who I’d hoped to be, because I’m not sure any more who that person is.

The other day I called up an agency about a job doing what I used to do: contracts administration in oil and gas. It was posted as a 3-month temporary position. I’m not sure I could commit to anything much longer than that. I’m not an employee. At least, not a long-term employee.

I have met some amazing people in my new circles of friends. Healers, actors, ravers, hippies, Burners, psychics, teachers, speakers, bloggers, authors. And in one way or another, I am all of those things myself. I have become so much more than I used to be – or at least, I have uncovered aspects of myself that I never knew I had until I left the security of full-time employment.

I don’t know if I’ll get this job I applied for. I have barely begun looking to see what else is out there. I had put off the job search until the last possible minute, always hoping for the deus ex machina to come and reward me for all the hard work I’ve done over the last year and a half – writing, studying, setting up businesses (mine and someone else’s), always learning, always growing, attending and planning workshops and seminars, traveling, working, coaching people, and spending all my money with only a trickle of pocket change coming back.

I know something will work out, but I’m not sure what yet. I just can’t keep going in this desert, wandering around in circles. I have to move forward.

I have been getting some very positive feedback from friends and other readers that they really appreciate what I have to say on this blog. I am charting a course where few have gone before – leaving behind the corporate world, studying to be an intuitive healer and spiritual advisor, and writing down my findings as I go.

Some days I wonder what it all means – if any of it has had any real impact out there. I have to believe that it has.

I have to keep moving forward.

I’m not giving up.

And yet… Right now, I need to surrender – surrender my expectations for specific outcomes, surrender my belief that somehow I’m special, surrender my image as an coach, surrender my plans to write a book – just surrender, let it all go, and be right here, right now.

Tomorrow, I will get up and I will do something. I don’t know what yet. Tomorrow evening I have a workshop that I am co-facilitating. I will do that.

And then, we’ll see.

Posted in business, faith | 4 Comments

Protesting Everything

Posted on July 9, 2010 by Craig

The recent G20 Summit in Toronto stirred up a great deal of anger across the country, as we watched peaceful protesters being beaten and arrested like a scene from Alabama in the 60’s. I, too, am angry that the police grossly overstepped their bounds – even exceeding the far-reaching fascist powers granted to them in a secret meeting of the provincial cabinet.

The government is trying to take away our right to protest, and that is completely undemocratic. But now I’m faced with another question that goes to the heart of the protests:

What exactly were they protesting?

The message that came out of the G20 protests is that the police, the government and the media are all acting against the best interests of the people, and we are losing our right to protest. But to protest what? To protest for our right to protest?

But then I look a little deeper, and I see that there are dozens of other messages that protesters are trying to spread. But the messages get confusing.

There is the protest against oil. We should not drive cars dependent on gas or propane, and not drive electric cars either, because they depend on electricity generated by fossil fuels. There is protest against foreign oil, and protest against Canadian oil, and against oil from the Gulf of Mexico. Generally, we shouldn’t use oil or anything derived from oil, like plastic.

We also should stop using products from natural sources, like wood, paper, cotton, etc, because they are usually harvested by large corporations that destroy the environment. We shouldn’t wear fur, because that comes from abused animals, and we shouldn’t wear polyester, because that comes from oil.

We should support people in poor countries, but we shouldn’t buy their products, because we should buy local.

We should protest big corporations, because they are greedy and destructive. But we should also demand job creation from those same corporations, so that we can go work for them and make them even bigger and more powerful.

We shouldn’t use metal, because that comes from mines owned by big corporations that hurt the environment. We shouldn’t use plastic, because that hurts the environment, and we shouldn’t use wood, because that depletes our forests. (Maybe we should make everything out of silicon and glass, because that comes from sand, and the earth’s crust has a heck of a lot of that. Seriously.)

Some plastic packaging is now made from corn derivatives, but then that uses up valuable farmland and drives up the price of food, so now poor people are having trouble affording groceries.

A hundred years ago, the one sure answer for a culture filled with sin and wickedness was to turn to religion. But now religion has become synonymous with conflict and bloodshed. This is a shame, because there are religious people out there who are actually doing some good, like feeding the poor.

Government? Whether you vote Republican, Democrat, Conservative, Liberal, Liberal Democrat or whatever, they all end up being the same. Each party protests what the governing party is doing, until elected, at which point they realize they have to keep the policies in place. So they defend the policies created by their predecessors while the deposed party criticizes them for it. It’s ridiculous.

It seems like there is something wrong with everything, no matter what we do. That’s why it’s so easy to protest the whole world, and maintain a self-righteous frame of mind, because no matter what you protest, you know you’re right about protesting it.

But that doesn’t solve a damned thing. No matter how right we are about protesting oil or anything else we get from the environment, protest does not give us a solution. It only focuses our attention on the problem. And the more we continue to focus on the problem, the less energy we have to create a solution.

So that’s my protest against protest.

I don’t have a solution either. I just realized that now.

Ironic, huh?

Posted in politics | 3 Comments

Fear of Success?

Posted on July 6, 2010 by Craig

These days, it is en vogue to hear one speak of the “fear of success.”

Huh?

Okay, so it’s actually a real fear. But what’s behind it? Let’s have a closer look.

What happens when you become successful? What is there to be afraid of?

First, you become responsible for it. Whether you’re trying to have a baby, start a business, publish a novel or get that dream job, “success” is just the beginning of a whole new journey. Now you have something precious you need to take care of. This new life depends on you. You have to show up and do what it takes to keep it alive. Are you up to the challenge?

Maybe the answer you feel deep down is, “No, I’m not.” Then it might be time to reconsider the challenge. Do you really want it, or are you looking for something associated with it? Are you looking for the prestige, or the love, or the money that goes with getting it? If you can’t handle the pressure of success in getting that one thing, then you might want to look elsewhere for that love, prestige or money.

Another pressure that comes with success is that you are often thrust into a new social circle, or a new playing field. Suddenly you’re not just “Jenny from the block” any more. If you have a successful family, then you tend to hang out with other families, not your old single friends who are still playing the local meet market. If you successfully get sober after a lifetime of alcoholism, then you’re no longer welcome back with the old drinking buddies. If you achieve fame, then you’ll find that other important people will want you to put in appearances far from home, and the homies may resent you for it.

Are you willing to play that game? Are you willing to give up what you have now for something else? There is no right answer other than what’s in your heart. What do you really want?

Probably my biggest fear in achieving success is the commitment involved. If I get that job, or start that business or take on that client, then I am responsible to make it work. Yes, work. Sometimes success means finishing something and then just reaping rewards, but often, success is just the beginning of a whole new adventure.

The fear I feel when faced with a new adventure is my body’s way of asking: Is this what you really want? Are you willing to give up the small game for the bigger game? Is this really what you feel passionate about? Are these the people you want to spend your time with? Is this something that makes your heart sing?

If it is what you really want, then understand the sacrifices involved, and deal with them. Understand that, just because something requires sacrifice, does not make it a bad choice.

Life is full of choices. The key is to decide what you want, go for it, and cut the lesser options out. It takes focus.

If you really want it, then focusing on it will bring you joy. If it’s something else you want, then your focus is going to be distracted.

Have fun!

Posted in growth, Law of Attraction | 2 Comments

Manifesting Tyranny

Posted on July 1, 2010 by Craig

Today we celebrate Canada Day. And as Americans are fond of saying lately: I love my country – it’s my government that I’m afraid of.

A few days ago, the Toronto Police (shall we say) “bent the rules” a bit in their zeal to protect the G20 Summit from hearing any voices of protest. While TV news crews focused their cameras on a handful of vandals (torching cars and smashing windows), the police arrested hundreds of pedestrians and peaceful protesters who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Some police went so far as to break into homes in the middle of the night and hold the occupants at gunpoint, without a warrant, until they could prove that there were no protesters in the house.

Yes, this was Toronto. No more Mr. Nice Guy.

Now, I could say a lot more about the politics of the situation, but that is not what this blog is about. Like my post about how we killed Robert Dziekanski, I want to talk about what I’m learning spiritually in all this, instead of focusing blame on certain people. After all this violence that I cannot control (out there), I am learning valuable lessons on how I can let the anger go and achieve inner peace (in here).

I am learning about taking my power back.

As a spiritual person, I talk about how I manifest my outer world, according to my thoughts, beliefs and actions. And all blame aside, I believe we are manifesting our current political climate.

We live in a democracy. And I’m not talking about our nations – I mean the democracy of this Universe. We as human beings collectively determine – consciously or unconsciously – what our reality is going to look like. Our intentions create our reality. Our outer world reflects our inner world.

Do I mean that we collectively want to be subjugated by viscious police officers? Not consciously. However, there are things going on in our outer world that seem to be a reflection of humanity’s level of consciousness.

But what part of me, as a good and decent person, would be so savage as to create a police state, and then subjugate me and others to it?

I have a part of me called Ego. Ego acts like my internal government. It tries to protect me from perceived threats. But I’ve learned the hard way that it is not my friend. I did not elect it – it has been with me since birth. It pretends to be me, even while it attacks me from the inside.

It is that voice in my head that creates self-doubt, self-criticism and other negative thoughts, to promote feelings of anger and powerlessness. It then blames these feelings on situations that other people have created – especially people I have never met, who have never done anything to hurt me (such as Toronto Police officers).

Ego justifies these thoughts by claiming to be an agent of justice: that it is on the side of the victims and wants to help. But it doesn’t really care about the victims – it just wants to punish the perpetrators. It wants to find the criminal responsible for my bad feelings, and prosecute to the full extent of its own law. It wants revenge. It needs someone to blame.

All the while, Ego is manufacturing its own pain, hurting me worse than anyone else ever has. It makes up its own stories filled with guilt and anger, creates bad feelings in me, and then frames someone else for the crime.

And now, it seems to me that society has collectively created a similarly hateful government to reflect the role that the Ego plays, as an outward manifestation of our inner reality.

The government claims to be on our side, protecting us from the evils “out there” (communists, terrorists, protesters). But after all its stories, it still can’t find the WMD’s. Like the Ego, our governments are making enemies so that, out of fear, we will submit to being disempowered and locked up. Egos and governments take away our freedom in order to “protect us,” but then carry out the very savagery it claims to thwart.

The police and the government need to be reminded that they were hired “to serve and protect” the people, not to serve and protect themselves. And my Ego needs to be reminded that its only valid role is to support me as I interact with my physical world. It is not an end in itself.

So, now that I am aware of the source of my suffering, what can I do to achieve inner peace?

The first step is to realize that I am not the voice of guilt and blame in my head. To identify with that voice is to make me psychotic. I am not my Ego. I am a spiritual being having a human experience.

When I meditate, I choose to watch my thoughts go by, without attaching myself to them. I choose to go deep within to the place of compassion and forgiveness that is closest to God. I remind myself that I am that compassion and light, not the darkness of fear and anger. I choose to shine a light into the darkness, and watch it dissipate as I focus my attention on what is kind, loving, creative and expansive.

Spending time specifically on meditation is helpful, but I can also carry this attitude with me throughout the day. Sometimes all it takes is a few deep breaths and a mental reminder to put me back in touch with who I really am, and reclaim my power.

I am here to love and support humanity (the Son of God), not Ego. Ego seeks to prosecute and imprison; Spirit seeks to love, grow and create.

Let us all remember, regardless of all the tyranny in the world, that we are here to create in a spirit of compassion and grace. Let us be the change we seek.

Posted in consciousness, Ego, politics | 5 Comments