Law of Attraction: The “Want” Part

Posted on May 18, 2010 by Craig

The last couple days, I’ve thought a lot about the “Law of Attraction” and making it work so I can have what I want. Last night I posted a brief introduction to the Law of Attraction, and then went to bed with a lot of questions on my mind.

Basically, the questions boil down to this: If there is this “Law” governing the Universe that says we can have whatever we want just by asking for it, then why are so many of us still unhappy?

When I got up this morning, I had some great feedback waiting for me, from my very thoughtful friend Cindy. (Her comment is posted on yesterday’s blog.) The question is not, How do I get what I want, but rather, What do I actually want anyway?

Cindy made an excellent point, that the world around us (starting with school) beats any sense of personal desire out of us, so that by the age of 7, we lose our individual sense of purpose, and become a confused mess of what others want for us – along with a vague sense that this isn’t really what we want. “I want to help animals” gets stuffed under “I should want good grades in math,” followed by, “I should want to date the captain of the __ team” followed by “I should want the same for my own kids.”

Why can’t I get what I want? My desires are so confused and buried by what others tell me I should want, that I can’t get a radar lock on what it is that I really want.

The only way that the Law of Attraction can work effectively is when I get absolutely clear on what I want in my heart of hearts, and stay focused on that. If I’m trying to want what I’m told to want, then my motivation is weak and I cannot sustain the drive towards the goal. (For evidence, check out your local multi-level marketing company. Listen to the executive try to convince the underlings that they should all want what she wants. Watch them quit when they fail to attract what the executive wants for them.)

So, all that aside, what do I want?

I want to be happy.

But I’ve been trained by the world to be unhappy, because I don’t have the stuff that makes people happy. So I look around at the world outside, as I’ve been trained to do, and ask, “What would make me happy?” And I see this all-electric sports car that does 0-60 in less time than it takes for a good belch.
Gorgeous Red Tesla

And I want it. Why? Because it’s fast and beautiful and good for the environment, so, based on what I’ve been taught since the age of 3, of course I want it! Now, what do I have to do to get it? Well, I need lots of money. How do I get that? Lots of overtime in a job that pays well. So, I go to work for whoever offers a lot of money and I work very hard. I work so hard, in fact, doing something that I don’t enjoy, that I become very unhappy. And before long, life becomes a struggle to keep the job I don’t really want, doing crap that makes me hate myself, to please my employer, so that maybe, some day, I can have what I want: a car.

Unfortunately, getting the car only makes me happy for a few days. Then my happiness is replaced by the fear of losing it. (Although the Buddha never had a car, he would be intimately familiar with this process.)

If I’m lucky, I wake up one day, and realize that I’ve been living someone else’s dream. And I grieve for the lost years. And I remember that what I really wanted all along was to be happy. And then instead of looking out there for happiness, I look in here, in my own heart of hearts.

I love Cindy’s comment on yesterday’s post: “What is missing from my Now that is motivating me to chase Later?” She has a lot of other good stuff to say, so if you want to read it (and only if you really want to!) check out the comments on yesterday’s post.

What I want is to hear back from you about what you want. But if you don’t want that, then you can do whatever you want.

More tomorrow.

Posted in Law of Attraction | Tagged | 2 Comments

Law of Attraction, Take 2

Posted on May 17, 2010 by Craig

Preachers, speakers, authors and movies have been expounding upon the virtues of positive thinking and the Law of Attraction for decades now. Yet, people are still stuck in negative self-talk, pessimism and low self-esteem – as well as the negative results that go along with that.

Why is that? Do we need to hear the message one more time? Have we failed at applying it? Do we know how it works but somehow want to stay stuck in negativity? Or have we tried the Law of Attraction and it just doesn’t work? What’s going on?

I started writing about this subject last night, and the more I write, the more complicated my answers get. I realize now that this will end up being a series rather than a single post. (And here is a previous post related to the Law of Attraction.)

A quick overview on the “Law of Attraction” for those who don’t know what I’m blabbering about: The concept has evolved over time, but the basic idea has been around at least since the time of Christ. (Back then it was called “faith.”) The term “Law of Attraction” first started showing up about 100 years ago, although some authors have tried to claim ownership of it since then.

The basic idea is deceptively simple: “What you think about, you bring about.” Not only thinking about it, of course, but investing the goal with strong feelings and beliefs will hurry its coming. This works for positive outcomes, as well as for negative outcomes that we worry about and don’t want.

Variations on the theme include:

  • It’s not so much what you think about as what you feel strongly about (Lynn Grabhorn)
  • It’s a combination of Thought, Will, Gratitude and Action (among others). Missing one of these will result in failure (The Science of Getting Rich, by Wallace Wattles)
  • Thoughts –> Beliefs –> Actions –> World’s Response –> Results (Teresa de Grosbois, Calgary speaker and author)

Sorry to cut this short, but it’s bedtime, and there’s no way I’m going to wrap this up before I fall asleep. I will continue this series tomorrow. I have drafted some ideas about how we fail at the Law of Attraction, and why. It’s not ready to post, though.

Meanwhile, I’m sure there are people out there in Internet-Land who know more than I do about the subject. Please leave your comments below. You may also post links to articles, as long as you’re not too grotesquely spammy about it. I’d love to hear from you.

(And if you can’t find the Comments box, it hides sometimes; click on “Leave a comment” or on “x# Comments” whichever shows up.)

Posted in Law of Attraction | 9 Comments

Career advice

Posted on May 15, 2010 by Craig

Yesterday I wrote about the importance of thinking for ourselves, and not being swept along by religious dogma or spiritual leaders.

Many times in my life, when I felt confused about my direction in life, I accepted the advice of others to follow a path they thought was right for me. And, many times, this took me off the path that I needed for myself. Looking back, I chalk this up to spiritual and intellectual laziness. If it’s hard for me to decide what to do with my life, I latch onto reasonable-sounding advice coming from trusted leaders or friends.

The trouble is, they don’t know my path. They know what works for them, in their lives. They know what’s important to them, and it can seem like this should be important to others as well, so they pass it along to the first receptive pilgrim that comes down the path.

Case in point: About eight years ago, I went to see a psychic about my career direction. She told me lots of accurate things about me, and she seemed trustworthy. Then she handed me a pamphlet from an ESL (English as a Second Language) training school here in Calgary, and told me she had received a message that I should go to this school and become an ESL teacher, so I can go overseas to teach English and make lots of money.

It didn’t sound like something I wanted to do at the time, but I wanted to be open and receptive, so I took her advice and paid $700 for a 6-week program at the school.

I never saw that program or my $700 again.

After taking the advice of a trusted spiritual advisor (yes, after), I went online to check out this school. I quickly found out it had a bad reputation, students didn’t like it, and staff weren’t getting paid. I called the school to ask for a refund. They made some excuses (“the accountant is not in today”) but promised me I’d get my money back. They repeated the procedure the next few times I called. When I found out that the owner had fled to Mexico with the school’s money, to blow it on cocaine and other frivolities, I quit calling about the refund.

I also decided that I did not want, nor had ever wanted, to be an ESL teacher.

Lesson learned: No matter how trustworthy someone else is, I have to decide what I want in my own life – not what someone else wants for me. And, I have to think for myself and do my own research – not accept someone else’s opinion of how safe something is.

Now, I would really like to hear your stories. And don’t worry about embarassing yourself; surely, you weren’t as stupid as I was.

Sometimes it’s hard to find the Comments box on this site, so let me point the way: If you don’t see a comments box at the bottom of this page, then you need to click on “Leave a comment” or perhaps “x# comments” right below this article.

This will bring up the Comments field at the bottom, where you can leave your delicious stories of either following your own heart on your own path, or, tragically, learning your lesson the hard way.

Or vice versa. (I could be wrong.)

Posted in accountability, growth | Leave a comment

In praise of atheism

Posted on May 15, 2010 by Craig

In yesterday’s post, I suggested that the “new age movement” has gone from a small group of spiritual pioneers, to a more dogmatic mainstream religion. I am not basing this on any scientific examination, of course. Being spiritual means I can get away with unfounded opinions and unexamined assumptions. I take it on faith.

Hm. Did I just make you mad or make you laugh?

Several hundred years ago, the Church tried to stop a scientist from challenging their unexamined assumptions. They eventually failed. Galileo’s response is just as true today as it was then: “I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason and intellect has intended us to forego their use.”

It used to be that “new agers” criticized Western religious people for their blind acceptance of outdated dogma. Today, it has become more apparent that us so-called non-religious spiritual types are just as guilty of blind faith as anyone else. We go to psychics to tell us what to do in our relationships and careers. We go to gurus and ask what we should believe. We listen to someone “channeling ascended masters” and swallow it whole. We sit in a Sedona sweat lodge with a pop-star self-help guru until we die of thirst, because he tells us to.

It seems to me that it doesn’t matter what religion or non-religion we attach ourselves to; when we look outside ourselves with blind faith and unquestioning obedience, we give up our God-given right to think for ourselves. When we ask someone else what to think and how to live, we abdicate our responsibilities of choice, intention, consideration of issues and appropriate action.

In this regard, I have to acknowledge atheists for the truth in their criticism of many of us living on faith: that we often accept blind faith out of laziness, and do not think for ourselves, even on the most fundamental questions of our existence and purpose on this planet.

I think that if we actually displayed more critical thinking, atheists wouldn’t be so hard on us. I don’t believe that it’s really ‘God’ they have such a problem with – it’s what we’ve done (and failed to do) in the name of God. The problem is that we have used faith in God as an excuse for inconsiderate actions and catastrophic mistakes.

My friend Dan used to be religious years ago. Today he’s an atheist. One reason he changed his mind was the treatment his gay and lesbian friends got from Christians. It seemed at the time that belief in God did not promote compassion or thoughtful action. In fact, the opposite happened: the beliefs of religious people dictated their thoughts, which, unchallenged, led to hurtful actions. Of course, Dan’s scientific education also cast a critical light on beliefs posed by religious people. Eventually he decided that, if he wanted to lead a thoughtful life, he needed to forsake his old religious ways.

I still believe in God, and still consider myself a spiritual person. I still believe that spiritual teachers have a lot of wisdom to offer the world. But now I also believe that atheists have something to offer us that we have not properly valued: the call to consider our actions and beliefs independently as we affect the world around us. Let us think for ourselves and be reasonable in our treatment of one another.

One last point about considering our actions: Jesus once told a story of two men dying and going to the afterlife. One was poor, but lived a good life, so he went to heaven. The other was rich, but led a selfish, inconsiderate life, so he went to hell.

In neither case were these men judged for their religious beliefs, their wealth, their grasp of the Law of Attraction or their faith. They were judged on what they did with what they had.

And on that point, there’s no reason to believe that atheists won’t go to heaven.

Unless you don’t believe in heaven, of course.

Posted in God, religion | 5 Comments

Selling Spirituality

Posted on May 13, 2010 by Craig

Something is bugging me today. It’s about (what do you call it?) “new age spirituality.” I don’t even know what to call my own set of beliefs (not quite Buddhist, not quite anything else) so I’ll just call it new age – even though that term really bugs me.

I left the church years ago because I couldn’t find the Truth I needed in Christianity. I found these “new age” beliefs, like reincarnation and spiritual evolution, and they felt right. “I’m spiritual, but not religious,” I started telling people. I believe in God, but I also believe it’s very important to think for myself. I find spiritual truth through personal investigation and soul-searching.

What’s really bugging me now is that I find myself in another religion. The “new age movement,” once a bunch of rebels and spiritual pioneers, has become a religion with a set of creeds, scriptures and central leaders.

We don’t have the pope; we have Eckhart Tolle. (He’s not a bad guy; I’m just saying people believe what he says.) Instead of a bible, we have a recommended reading list. Our version of life after death is borrowed from Buddhism. Our pilgrimages end in Sedona rather than in Mecca.

Okay, so, having some common beliefs and structure is not so damaging. It’s everything else that has glommed onto the movement over the years.

This “spirituality” used to be about simple meditation, peace of mind, community support and connection to Nature. Now it has more to do with expensive retreats, crystals, attracting wealth and the latest book from the guru of the week. It’s become a very materialistic religion. It’s about having stuff – books, CD’s, nicknacks, drums, and what have you. These objects are intended, no doubt, to help us on our spiritual path toward greater wellness, peace of mind and spiritual connection. I’m just worried that we have placed too much emphasis on the stuff and not enough on the non-material connection we have, for free, with divine source.

I think one reason we have become so materialistic (besides the obvious neediness of Ego) is that some of us have chosen to make a living by helping people on their spiritual paths. And making a living requires one to charge money for things. Since I can’t charge money for someone sitting in a room alone meditating, I need to charge for books, seminars, and the other nicknacks of the spiritual trade.

I’d like to believe that most spiritual entrepreneurs honestly want to make a positive difference, help people, and earn the money that customers are paying. I know there’s nothing wrong with charging for products and services, no matter how “spiritual” they may be. But I also can’t help wondering if the soul train has gotten just a little off-track.

There’s all this talk about how you can’t have a successful life without lots of money, and people using spiritual concepts only to try and get more money for themselves… It just smells funny. The queasy feeling I used to get with church dogma, now turns my gut when someone tries to sell me a $300 rock that supposedly has spiritual powers.

I don’t have an answer. I’m still sorting out my thoughts on this. I would like to get your feedback. Surely I’m not the only one with an opinion around here. Fire away.

Posted in business, religion | 13 Comments