Improvizing

I’ve recently joined an improv theatre group in Calgary, after a few years of hiatus from the theatre scene. I feel like I’m coming home to a family that is welcoming me back with open arms. And at the same time, I’m trying hard to remember everyone’s name.

I thought I knew a few things about improv acting and story-building in general. I guess I knew a few theories, but putting it on stage has been a harsh lesson in not knowing anything after all. Some things I’m learning in practice:

  • Always start positive, so the character has somewhere worse to go
  • Never stay safe – always leave the safety zone behind
  • When confronted with danger and conflict, go towards it, not away from it
  • Get into as many sticky situations as possible
  • Learn and grow from each crisis and move forward
  • Always move the story forward – never get stuck in “gossip”
  • Always accept offers and promises; take them at face value and do something with them
  • Never block someone else
  • Always be sensitive to others around you; listen to what they say, watch their body language, and be aware of the direction they are going in

The tips I learned in improv class are actually good tips for living life – as long as you prefer growth and new experiences and joy, rather than the comfort of the living room couch. Personally, having been stuck on the couch for too many years, I am looking upon my new adventures with excitement.

Of course, a lot of these things are counter-intuitive, and frankly, if I had followed this advice through my childhood, I’d still be grounded now, 20 years later. But I’m not a kid any more, and so what will serve and support me now, as an adult, is very different from the safety nets of childhood. But life was meant to be lived!

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Let it go to her head

I was shopping at Wal-mart tonight, picking up a few days’ rations, when I passed a mother and daughter in the aisle. They had bumped into a family friend and were chatting. The girl was about 15, thin, with pale blonde hair, glasses, and a cast on her wrist. The family friend remarked about how tall the girl was getting, and she might even say, “lovely.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t say that,” the mother replied, not quite serious, not quite joking. “I wouldn’t want it to go to her head.”

I turned to look at them, alarmed at the mother’s comment.

No, you know what? I thought. Do let it go to her head.

Let that thought sneak inside that young, insecure girl’s skull for a minute or two – that someone actually thinks she is “lovely.” That she looks okay. That she isn’t too fat, or too skinny, or too short. Let her consider, for a moment, that her skin isn’t the wrong tone, that her elbows aren’t too knobby and her nose isn’t the wrong size. Let it go to her head.

Because chances are 99 to 1 that she’s like most other 15-year-old girls, constantly worried that people think she’s not good enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough – just not enough – and then she will spend the rest of her life overcoming those thoughts. She will pay thousands of dollars to attend seminars and read books about self-esteem and overcoming self-hatred. She will get into relationships with people who mistreat her because she thinks she doesn’t deserve any better. She will buy too much make-up and go on crash diets and read too many magazines that promise her the one beauty secret that will make men want her.

If there’s one thought that will mess up her life, if there’s one thought that should not go to her head, it’s that she is not lovely. That she isn’t a beautiful human being. That maybe God messed up with her.

I had to write this down as soon as I got home. Because it bothered me. Maybe it bothered me because I spent far too much of my life believing that I’m not good enough myself. Maybe it bothered me because I’ve seen too many other people messed up by feeling inadequate.

I had to share it with the few people that actually read this blog. I should have shared it with that mother and daughter, but my instincts stopped me from starting a fight in public with a stranger.

If you know a teenaged girl, and you think it’s appropriate to say (given your position or relationship to her), tell her that she’s lovely. Odds are, she needs to hear it.

Let it go to her head.

http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=94c43AlwLKo&NR=1

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You should be ashamed of yourself!

How many times did we all hear that line as a child? How many still hear it today? Just keep your ears open around families, and you will still hear children getting told, “You should be ashamed of yourself!”

Hey, that’s great advice. I should be ashamed of myself. Because we all know that shame is a healthy way of approaching life. Psychologists have proven that being ashamed of oneself ultimately leads to a variety of wonderful benefits, including:

  • Low Self-esteem
  • Inability to form healthy relationships
  • Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
  • Depression
  • Chronic Fatigue
  • Bipolar disorder
  • Disociative / Multiple Personality Disorder
  • Alcoholism and Drug Abuse
  • Repressed anger
  • Self-destructive behaviour
  • Abusive behaviour towards others
  • Addiction
  • Suicide

And these are just a few of the health benefits associated with being ashamed of yourself. If you have more you’d like to add, just hit the comments button and type away.

For those of us raised in religious households, the implications go even further. [And this is not meant as an attack on religion, but a comment about how religion is misinterpreted and bent the wrong way.] We learned that God created us, but then ended up ashamed of that creation, because we somehow found a way of offending God, and that’s when “Sin” came into the world. So now God wants us to be ashamed of ourselves. The more shame, the better, because without shame, there can be no forgiveness. We must kneel at the foot of the Cross, and gaze up at the Son of God, nailed there for our Sins. We should be ashamed of ourselves! If you’re not wallowing in shame, you probably don’t love Jesus.

Not all Christians believe that shame is good. Some of the more “liberal” minded (and therefore supposedly “wrong“) believe that God loves us, that God is not ashamed of us, and that we are forgiven for making mistakes. I wonder what life would be like without being ashamed…

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The Pincher Creek Diaries (2)

February 21, 2008

I’m just back tonight from Pincher Creek. The weather has been gorgeous lately. Those high winds that the locals (“Pincher Creekonians”) like to boast about have not really materialized. Yes, there were some really windy days. But so far, no flying gravel. I think they may have exaggerated some of those stories, or maybe it happened once in an unusually strong wind, and they’re letting on like it happens all the time.

Today I got an apartment. Everyone has been telling me how hard it is to get anything in Pincher Creek. Sure, the vacancies are low; there were only about two or three properties to even look at. But I got a two-bedroom apartment right in Pincher Creek for $650 a month, including utilities. It’s a hell-hole right now, but they will be putting in new carpet and paint over the next couple weeks before I move in, and it appears structurally sound, so it should be nice come moving day (March 9). Meanwhile, next shift, I’ll be sleeping at the Stardust Motel. (Yes, it’s really called that.)

I have a gym membership in Pincher Creek, and I might start a yoga class next month. Yowza. While others are doing Downward Dog, I’m sure I’ll be doing Panting Husky. But over time, I hope to get this poor old body into better shape.

That’s about it. It’s after 9:30 and past my bedtime, so good night all!

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The Pincher Creek Diaries

February 13, 2008

My arrival on the Waterton project was greeted in typical big-corporation style. They wanted me down here as quickly as possible, and have been expecting me for several weeks. When I got to the Site, my new boss offered me a chair. No computer, no phone, no desk, no spot to put the chair, no office supplies, but I do have a chair. The new trailer was supposed to have been done last week, but like everything else, there have been delays. They are also waiting for the IT guys from the Calgary office to come down and install new computers (for myself and other new people).

Sam, my new boss, seems like a good guy. He took some time in between phone calls and meetings to introduce me around. He has been swamped lately, so it was difficult for him to get me started on anything. I was in Orientation for about 3-4 hours Tuesday morning. Then I found out mid-afternoon that I was supposed to have signed in immediately upon my arrival (“You mean nobody told you?”) so technically I wasn’t really there. I signed in and out at the end of the day. Unable to do any real work, I took the opportunity to read some contracts currently in effect.

There is one men’s washroom and one women’s washroom. They are closed daily for maintenance between 10:00 and 11:00 a.m., so I’ll try not to drink too much water between 9:00 and 10:00. The nearest source of food is the roving herd of deer in the fields next to the Site. The mountains are in our back yard. There was no snow at the end of last shift, but when we arrived Tuesday morning, there were 4-foot snow drifts.

The first thing that anyone from Pincher Creek will tell you is that it gets windy around here. The forecast online called for winds of about 15 km/h for most of the week. That was a complete lie. By mid-afternoon, I was warned to put on a hardhat (with chin-strap) and eye protection if I went outside. The winds can get strong enough to pick up gravel off the parking lot and put it through windows. They had a few car windows wrecked that way recently. Another way car windows get damaged is the pressure differential if they are parked perpendicular to the wind. When the wind blows against one side of a car, there is high pressure on one side and low pressure on the other, creating a vacuum that literally blows the windows right out of the car. Company policy now requires all vehicles to be parked facing into the wind, to avoid injury from flying glass.

Last night I had a falling dream. I don’t normally have those. I was in an elevator with a small group of people, and all of a sudden it started to plummet, and I was lifted right off the floor. It fell about 10 stories, and just as it approached the ground, the emergency brakes kicked in and stopped us within a few feet of certain death. I woke up happy to be alive. It was a reminder that there are worse things than windy days.

Today is Wednesday. It would have been my second day on the job, had the Rocky Mountains not thrown a blizzard at the jobsite. We got on the bus at 6:00 this morning, and waited. A call came over the radio to hold up in Pincher Creek until the Owner decided whether or not to open the Site today. Visibility was zero at 6:00 this morning. By 6:30, we got the call to stand down. We got off the bus and went back to our motel rooms. I got a chance to get an extra hour of sleep, and catch up on email.

While Waterton is enduring a blizzard, Pincher Creek is calm, with only a light snow falling. Today I plan to find a gym to work out at (today will be one of the few days I have time), get some extra groceries, look for a place to live, and do some reading.

Whatever happens, it’s good to be alive.

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