Pants on fire

Posted on August 5, 2010 by Craig

On today’s Huffington Post, health author John Robbins discovers something very strange in a lawsuit against Coca-Cola over vitaminwater:

The lawsuit, brought by the Center for Science in the Public Interest, alleges that vitaminwater labels and advertising are filled with “deceptive and unsubstantiated claims.” In his recent 55-page ruling, Federal Judge John Gleeson (U.S. District Court for the Eastern District of New York), wrote, “At oral arguments, defendants (Coca-Cola) suggested that no consumer could reasonably be misled into thinking vitamin water was a healthy beverage.” Noting that the soft drink giant wasn’t claiming the lawsuit was wrong on factual grounds, the judge wrote that, “Accordingly, I must accept the factual allegations in the complaint as true.”

In other words: Yes, the advertising was misleading, but who cares? Nobody believes this stuff, right? I mean, what kind of educated consumer would believe that sugar-water is actually healthy?

This reminds me of a libel case years ago, in which a celebrity sued a tabloid for printing lies that were injurious to the celebrity. (Sorry, can’t remember the exact details.) The judge sided with the tabloid because, hey, who believes anything printed in the tabloids anyway?

It’s like Coca-Cola wants us to put their advertising claims on the same level as Bat Boy.

In older news, a 2007 survey found that 38% of teenagers polled believe that lying and cheating are necessary to succeed in today’s world.

In Britain, a 2005 survey showed that 46% of company managers believed that it’s acceptable to lie to customers, if it means safeguarding the company. (This raises the question: Were the other 54% lying on the survey?)

So, what am I getting at? Our culture has become so used to dishonesty, that it doesn’t seem to matter any more. Our governments lied to us and sent thousands of our soldiers to their deaths in a war that never should have happened? “Typical.” In Hollywood, movies often depict heroes who string together webs of lies from beginning to end. Then our hero gets the girl anyway, because he did it all out of love for her, so it’s okay.

Some people believe that we are entering a new era of authenticity. In some ways, we no longer believe the crap that is fed to us. We can see through it. But we’re still lying anyway.

Is it even possible to have an honest society?

What do you think?

Posted in accountability, business | Leave a comment

Love vs. Belief

Posted on August 1, 2010 by Craig

This past week I’ve noticed issues come up around belief – atheists arguing that Christians are deluded, and vice versa. Beliefs are important, because beliefs form the basis for our actions in the world, which create positive or negative results.

So, our actions indicate what our beliefs really are. And since I want to talk mostly about religious belief today, I’m going to use the words of Jesus, even though I don’t consider myself a Christian. Jesus said that you can “know a tree by its fruits.” So if a tree says, “I’m a pear tree!” and you see apples hanging off it, you can bet that it’s either an apple tree, or someone has done a really good job at vandalizing it. Likewise, if someone says “I’m a Christian!” and you don’t see Christ-like behavior showing up, then they’re probably not who they say they are.

I don’t want to waste any time debating the merits of being an atheist vs being a Christian. I don’t really care what you call yourself, or even what you believe. Personally, I believe in God, but if you don’t, that’s fine. I think it’s our beliefs about love and compassion that matter more than our beliefs about any specific deity.

When some religious leaders asked Jesus what he thought was the most important commandment, he didn’t say “Believe in God” or “Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ.” He said “LOVE God” and “LOVE your neighbor as yourself.”

It seems odd that so many people call themselves followers of Jesus, and yet they completely ignore the two things he said to do. He never said you had to go to church, or vote Republican, or support the troops, or beat up homosexuals. In fact, he seemed to say the opposite of all that: Simply, to show compassion to everyone, even if they are different from you. Then, to illustrate who you’re supposed to love, he followed up with the story of the “Good Samaritan,” about someone loving a complete stranger from a different culture.

Another time, when Jesus was talking about what happens after we die, he talked about our lives being judged not by what we believed, or what church we went to, but rather what we did with our time. Did we help the poor? Did we care for the friendless? Did we provide food for the hungry? He even went so far as to say that many people who had called him their lord and savior in life would be like strangers to him after death, if they had not followed his commandments to love their neighbors.

Anyway, since I’m not a Christian, I don’t literally believe what the bible says about what eternity will be like. I just find it amusing to use the words of Jesus to explain why I disagree with Christian dogma. (Because, if you don’t follow what Jesus told you to do, then don’t talk to me about believing.)

Personally, I believe that we are all children of God, and therefore, we are bits of God, only appearing to be separate. Just as children of humans are human themselves, we children of God are divine ourselves. But being caught in an illusion, our actions are influenced by fear, and so we don’t always act like God. (And to be honest, I myself find it a struggle to love everyone, so, I have lots to learn about practicing what I preach.)

But if we are God – and I’ll understand if you don’t share my belief, but anyway – IF we are children of God, ought we not to love each other? To come back together in unity? To accept everyone, no matter how different?

Whatever your beliefs happen to be, ask yourself: How do I exhibit those beliefs? Do I practice what I preach? It’s usually in the little, everyday situations that these things show up.

Posted in compassion, religion | 10 Comments

Unleashing the Shadow

Posted on July 28, 2010 by Craig

The self-help industry, together with its coaches and authors, is still trying to find balance on the issue of uncovering one’s past. We all want to know why we are the way we are. Why do I have these habits and beliefs? Where did these phobias come from? What happened when I was four years old? What do I still need to forgive?

I have experienced some feelings of liberation sometimes when I uncover an old limiting belief, or when I make a connection between my past experience and my current habits. It can be good to know “why.” And it can also be a trap.

Bringing the unconscious into the conscious can liberate us, because then we can make conscious choices and changes. At the same time, we also face the risk of giving power to the past now that we’re aware of the story.

“I’m not able to trust men because of what happened to me when I was 5.”
“I can’t control my anger because of the way I was treated as a kid.”
“I’m too scared to operate heavy machinery because of an accident I had on the farm.”

Okay. So, now that you know about it, what are you going to do about it? Are you going to make it into a life-long story? Are you going to let it rule you? Or are you going to take ownership and decide for yourself what you want to do?

Debbie Ford’s book, The Dark Side Of The Light Chasers, was written back in the 90’s but it’s still a good tool for working through our shadows. She talks about giving our shadow personalities names, like, “Doubtful Doug” or “Angry Annie,” so we can have a conversation with them and get to know them. She talks about how destructive it can be to bury the shadow, and also how important it is to move forward once the shadow has been uncovered. The shadow side has many gifts to offer us if we can have an enlightened conversation with it. (She also has other books along the same lines, although I have not read them.)

We all have our bad habits, unconscious beliefs and self-limiting patterns. Beating ourselves up over them is not the answer, and burying them is also not the answer. And neither is uncovering them just to look at them and give them power. We have to bring them to the table for a sit-down chat, uncover the gifts, and then claim our personal power and make decisions about how we want to live.

Posted in accountability, healing | Leave a comment

Not your brother any more

Posted on July 26, 2010 by Craig

This morning I opened my inbox to find crossfire between two friends of mine. One did something in her business that the other found unethical, whereupon the other removed the one from her tribe. I felt sad. They are both good, loving people.

I won’t go into details on the incident, but I want to share what it taught me. It was like a mirror for me, showing me how judgemental I can be sometimes. In fact, right after I was done with that email, I had to deal with my accountant, with whom I’ve had some issues in the past. (And I’m not talking about Debbie, my new accountant, who is awesome.)

The issues have not gone away yet. Not my accountant’s issues, and not my issues. I sat there on the phone judging my accountant for all the short-comings, both past and present. And I realized at the same time that I was doing the same thing that my friends had done over the email – judging someone for being prone to human error. And now – get this – I’m judging myself as well.

What saddens me about all this – with me and with my two friends – is that we are all “lightworkers” – that funny moniker given to us “new age” (or whatever) folks who do spiritual healing work. (Obviously I’m uncomfortable with these labels but I don’t know what else to use.)

Here we are, trained in the finer arts of divine love and forgiveness, and we’re fighting with each other. But just so it doesn’t seem so bad, we clothe it in spiritual-sounding language, like, “My prayers are with him, and I hope this disagreement does not affect the community, and I wish only the best for him…” My Ego likes to use language like that, because then it looks like it’s all coming from Spirit, as if Ego has nothing to do with it. But just because I’m judging my brother with “loving” language does not make it love. The unspoken undercurrent comes out as “you’re guilty and I’m not.”

And yes, now I am judging my friends. Gaa!! We are all so insane here! Why can’t we all just get along?

We all make mistakes. We all defend ourselves for those mistakes. We all judge others for their mistakes. And even if we’re defending ourselves for our mistakes, we usually judge ourselves anyway, and also judge others for judging others.

It’s called being human. We’re all doing the best we can. And my two friends are doing the best they can, by trying to stand up for what’s right, by trying to soften the words, by trying to hold the community together despite disagreements, by trying to love each other even when we judge each other. Yes, I’m annoyed by what’s going on, but part of me – some spark of light deep down – wants to drop all the b.s. and just love both of my friends no matter what, and to acknowledge their struggle to be the best they can be under the circumstances. They’re trying. It’s just that they’re human.

A Course in Miracles tells us that we are all children of God, all brothers and sisters, and all still perfect in the sight of God. God does not judge us – we judge ourselves. We are insane, because we believe that the children of God are guilty, and that God’s creation is imperfect. This is illusion. A very convincing illusion that starts wars and other needless suffering.

When I was really young, I discovered I could manipulate my little sister by threatening “I won’t be your brother any more!” This only worked a couple times at most, before my sister realized that no disagreement could ever break the family bond. No guilt, no injury, no argument, no insanity of any kind could ever make me not be her brother any more.

It’s kind of crazy that us grown-ups are still talking that way.

A Course In Miracles also tells us that we do not have to heal ourselves from this suffering. We only have to allow Spirit to heal us. The Spirit of God promises to take away the insanity and give us love in return.

Here’s hoping.

Posted in consciousness, Ego | 8 Comments

Option Paralysis

Posted on July 22, 2010 by Craig

Here we are in the most technically advanced and prosperous period in all of recorded history. And I live in one of the wealthiest cities on the planet, in a wealthy province, in a wealthy country. Exotic foods from all over the world are sold at my local supermarket. Textiles, gems, spices, great works of art – all are available at the mall down the street. We live like kings and queens here.

So why do we complain?

Like Louis CK said on TV one night, “Everything is amazing right now, and nobody’s happy.”

Then there’s dating. A hundred years ago, when you got old enough to date, there were about 3 or 4 eligible singles to choose from within a day’s hard riding. You had to get married (because that’s what everyone did), and you said your vows, and you stayed together until one of you died. And you were probably happy with that, because, what other options were there?

Now you can date people from anywhere in the world. There’s no end of options. Dating websites have thousands of great singles looking for someone just like you. It’s awful, because none of them are a perfect fit. Either I don’t want to date them, or they don’t want to date me.

With thousands of options to choose from, why settle for less than perfection? So, a lot of us stay single for a long time, or go from relationship to relationship, or get married for five years and then go through a messy divorce.

Why?

We didn’t have these problems when we had no options. Now it doesn’t matter who you pick, you know there will always be someone better that you could have had if you’d only waited another week. So we end up regretting the one we got, and looking at all the others, and pretty soon we’re divorced and dating again. And because divorce is so common now, it’s acceptable, which means you don’t have to work at fixing the relationship you’re in – you can just throw your husband’s crap out the front door, change the locks, and go date the guy from Accounting while cleaning out your joint bank account.

Dissatisfaction isn’t limited to dating and marriage. We have unlimited options in all areas of our lives here in the wealthy West. Self-help gurus and prosperity coaches teach us in a never-ending stream of seminars, books, CDs and workshops that we can have anything we want if only we use their proven formula. We just have to visualize, affirm, commit, exercise, pray – whatever – and all that we can ask or imagine will be handed to us. Weight loss, wealth, spiritual enlightenment, the perfect career – it can all be yours!

There are thousands of voices telling us to strive for more, because what we have is not good enough. So just get online and order that new product now, before it’s too late and you can’t have it any more!

Simple case in point: When I first started shaving, over 20 years ago, the standard razor was a single blade. But Gilette had twin blades. They showed animations on their TV commercials, one with a single blade, the other with twin blades, and how the twin blade razor got all the stubble and the single blade didn’t. Then when they started losing market share to the store-brand twin-blades, they had to bring out a 3-blade shaver, and the commercials changed to show how the twin-blade razor just didn’t cut it, and you needed a 3-blade shaver instead. Then, not so long after, they came out with a 4-blade razor. It’s getting ridiculous. How many blades do we need?

They train us to become dissatisfied with what we have, because there is always more stuff available that they have not sold us yet. And if they are not selling us the stuff, they are selling us the seminar or the book about how you can get the stuff that you deserve to have, and how you should not limit yourself to merely enough – you should pay a fortune to some guru so you can learn to have more than enough.

Meanwhile, depression has become pandemic in our society. Visits to the doctor for depression and anxiety doubled between 1994 and 2004. And suicide is one of the leading causes of death for people over the age of 10.

Why are we so depressed and suicidal, when we live in a society where we can have anything we want?

I think you can guess by now what I’m getting at. For one, we are brainwashed by success gurus into believing that we can have more than we can actually afford. We buy into that brainwashing because we want so desperately to believe it. Then when we fail to get everything we’d dreamed of, we feel like failures.

And even when we get everything we want, there is always more to have. It’s simply impossible to get everything, to do it all or to be everywhere. We are always comparing what we already have, to what we could have. Dissatisfaction creeps in and kills the joy we had with our lives being just fine the way they were.

So I say screw it. If you want to be happy, then love the one you’re with, do the work in front of you, and enjoy the stuff you have.

Okay I’m done now.

Posted in gratitude | 7 Comments