True-life Amnesia

Posted on June 13, 2010 by Craig

See if you can remember what all these movies have in common: The Bourne Identity, Mulholland Drive, Vanilla Sky and Total Recall.

Okay, that was easy, wasn’t it? The clue was in this blog’s title. The heroes have all forgotten their true identities. They have that all-too-common medical condition known as retrograde amnesia.

The thing is, it’s “all-too-common” only in Hollywood. We see so many cases of it on the silver screen that you’d think hospitals would be full of people like this. In fact, though, the only cases we hear about in “real life” seem to be hoaxes.

So, why are story-tellers so enamored with this plot, when it’s only found in Hollywood? Why not tell a story that is more like real life?

Actually, I think it’s more like real life than medical evidence would suggest. It’s just not in a way that you’d expect.

A Course in Miracles tells us that we have all gone insane and forgotten who we really are. All of us. Really, we are all children of God, sparks of the Divine, come to earth to experience life in physical form. We have forgotten that we are all really One. So we fight amongst ourselves, completely unaware of our true spiritual identity.

Another Hollywood plot device sheds some light on this spiritual reality – even though the writers may not be consciously aware of it. This plot gives us a character who has temporarily been taken over by another consciousness. Think of Captain Picard as Locutus in Star Trek: The Next Generation, or Jonesy in Dreamcatcher. The victim’s own mind is still in there, somewhere, but it must fight to regain control and kick the visitor out.

Again, I believe that this fascination with a mostly-Hollywood phenomenon actually points to a spiritual reality. Our divine minds are still in here, somewhere, but Ego has largely taken over, and feeds us insane thoughts of anger and hate. When I judge someone for what they’ve done – such as my judgement of BP for killing the Gulf of Mexico – I forget our true identities as children of God, and give in to the Ego’s control of my mind and body. I allow thoughts that are not really mine to take over my consciousness and push me away from compassion and spiritual connection.

Ego tells me that “reality” is the oil spill – what I can see physically – and that spirituality is the dream – just wishful thinking. But there is also a deeper part that resonates with A Course in Miracles when it tells me why people do bad things: It’s not that we are truly evil, but that we have forgotten our true identities.

I am an immortal soul having a physical experience here on Earth. Like Klaatu in The Day the Earth Stood Still, my soul does not experience pain, but, “my body does.” I have no spiritual reason to fear or hate my fellow humans, but when my mind allows Ego to take over, then I can find lots of reasons to fear – even if those reasons are based in insanity.

When I listen to the voice of fear, then I find reasons to fear. When I listen to the voice of love, I find reasons to love.

Each moment gives me a new choice.

Posted in consciousness, Ego | 3 Comments

Win-Win

Posted on June 8, 2010 by Craig

There are a lot of kind-hearted people in this world – and not just in Canada – who believe that “winning” means someone else “loses.” We get this flawed perspective from sports and other games, but it does not work in real life.

In a game (ie, not real life) there are strict rules about what it means to “win.” In the game of Monopoly, for example, you do not “win” until everyone else has gone completely broke. In Sid Meier’s Civilization (my personal favorite), there are several ways to win – but still, only one player can win, and the rest all lose. (I suppose that may be why I prefer playing against the computer instead of real people – so that when I win, only the computer loses.)

In real life, there are no strict rules about how to win. That’s because we can decide for ourselves how we want to win. And since my win is not the same as your win, then we can both win at our own game.

When I win, I don’t want anyone else to lose. When I help a client, I want to feel like I have done a great job and added real value to my client’s life. That’s a win for me, and that’s a win for my client.

I have a house in Calgary. I like my house. Having this house is a win for me. Does that mean that someone else loses because they don’t live here? No. They win because they get to live in Carpinteria, California. (If you’ve ever been there, then you know what winning is like.)

Like the ad says – “You may already be a winner.” Yes, I am. Even if the guy next door is winning, too. Because I get to decide what a ‘win’ looks like for me, personally.

I get to make up my rules (to some extent). If I decide that working less hours and having more free time is a win for me, then I’m not as concerned about the guy who’s working 60-hour weeks and making a lot more than I am. (Because I used to be “that guy” – I know how it feels.) If I decide that winning means owning a one-of-a-kind postage stamp that no one else has ever heard of, then I can win that way – and most other people aren’t even aware that they’ve “lost” by my standards.

Some white folk complain about immigrants coming in and taking jobs away. But what jobs are they taking? Custodial, fast-food, night-shift at the warehouse – all the jobs that I don’t want. Am I losing because they get that job and I don’t? No! I win! Because someone else is doing that work, and I don’t have to. I get to do what I want rather than flipping burgers or cleaning toilets. And they win because they get to live here and pick a job that suits them (hopefully).

This all ties into the “Law of Attraction,” but this little bit boils down to this: I AM ALLOWED TO WIN. If I win, that doesn’t mean I’m taking anything away from anyone else. In fact, according to my rules, I’m probably helping someone else win at the same time. And that feels good.

Posted in business, Law of Attraction | 1 Comment

Being

Posted on June 2, 2010 by Craig

Spring is finally here. Calgary is a bit of a slow starter that way. Actually Spring sort of faked us out a few times, starting in March, with a mix of Spring and Winter weather. Winter doesn’t really stop for sure until Summer arrives. Even then, the weather always has a few surprises for us. It makes small-talk interesting.

Spring is beautiful in Calgary. It’s especially beautiful when the lilacs are in bloom, as they are now. Since only a few kinds of trees grow well in our challenging climate, I’m glad the lilac tree is one of them.

I passed a few lilacs on my walk this evening. I was amazed all over again at the intricate detail that Nature puts into all her works. Thousands of flower petals, all perfectly arranged, all symmetrical, with absolutely no effort or planning. To recreate a synthetic lilac tree using silk and plastic would take forever. Nature does it without even thinking.

That’s the beautiful thing about Nature’s growth: it just is. It doesn’t have to try, or work hard, or worry about failure. Nature’s beauty comes from simply being what it is.

As I work on my life, my growth, my business and my other plans, it seems to take a lot of effort. I have to organize, write stuff down, make calls and rely on people that may or may not come through as planned. I do a lot of thinking about what I want to accomplish based on my heart-felt passions and best abilities, and then try to do what I can.

Why? Because sometimes I forget who and what I truly am. I lose touch with the truth of my identity as a spiritual, divine being having a human experience. I get so wrapped up in the human experience that I think I have to make and control everything physically.

When I let go of this neuroticism, and remember my original identity, I can behave more like the lilac tree: simply allowing the greatness in my spiritual nature to manifest itself in outward form.

I still do stuff. But instead of trying so hard, I relax a bit first, remember my true nature, and then show up at my work with an attitude of being and allowing. I let my passions inspire me to do what I’m best at. I notice opportunities to have fun doing what I most naturally do.

I can’t say that describes most of my life just yet. But this evening, as I listened to the lilac trees, I was reminded that a simpler way of being is possible.

Life feels so much easier when I can stop being what I’m not, allow myself to be who I really am, and then let my actions reflect that. The trick is to let that happen every day.

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Making Mistakes

Posted on June 1, 2010 by Craig

Is there something you’ve been meaning to try, but you won’t try for fear of messing it up? If so, you’re one of about seven billion other people in the same boat.

We are afraid of making mistakes. We don’t want to fail. So, we play not to lose. In playing not to lose, we look for safety. We avoid risk.

Ultimately, by trying to avoid risk, we risk the worst failures of all: We don’t learn new things, we don’t enjoy the confidence that comes with growth, and we stay stuck in old patterns.

I am not a big risk-taker myself, so I’m preaching just as much to myself as to anyone else on this topic. One thing that I’ve found helpful for me, is to try small risks. For example, I’m taking a Latin dance class. It’s fun. Do I nail every move every time? No, of course not; I’m just learning. But nobody else in that class is perfect, so why should I be?

The Ego tells me that if I mess up, something catastrophic will happen. My Ego just doesn’t want to look bad in front of other people. It needs to be perfect. It’s all part of the little games it plays with guilt, shame, blame and self-righteousness.

One way of releasing the Ego’s stranglehold on us, is to step out and take a safe risk. Be willing to make a mistake. Risk looking a little goofy. Try something new and fun. Let yourself out of your cage for a bit. Enjoy life.

You may find that, after a couple initial missteps, that you will learn something new, and instead of getting embarrassed, you’ll experience a new level of confidence that comes with new skills.

And one more thing: Applaud other people that take risks, even if they don’t do it “perfectly.” If you can give others permission to try, then you can give yourself permission to try, and you’ll probably win supporters for yourself in the process.

Good luck!

Posted in Ego, growth | Leave a comment

Blind Optimism vs Faith and Truth

Posted on May 30, 2010 by Craig

I went to a financial seminar today, and had to face something challenging. It’s not that the concepts were complicated. They weren’t. The biggest challenge for me was to admit (despite the protests of my Ego) that I have avoided the truth about my financial responsibilities.

When it comes to bad investment decisions, I know I’m not the only one who has messed up. Lately, lots of “smart people” on Wall Street have totally outdone me on financial stupidity.

The question I’m facing here is, how did we get into this mess?

Before I go any further, let’s be clear that I’m not offering any investment advice, or yet another angle on “what’s wrong with America.” What I’m talking about here is actually a very human, personal problem. But I’ll get to that in a bit.

So I’m going to skip the Wall Street horror stories that we’ve all heard, and go straight to a painful personal example.

In 2007, a couple partners and I bought a condo unit in Calgary with the intention of fixing it up and selling it for more than we bought it for. Over the next six months, we invested a great deal of time and money making this place perfect. But when we went to sell it, the market informed us that it was worth less than the money we had invested.

Ouch.

Our first reaction was denial. We listed it for more than what the realtor suggested we could get. We got no offers. Then we decided to hold onto it, wishfully thinking that it would go back up in value.

It kept dropping. The mortgage payments, however, did not follow suit.

Now, if I had accepted the truth of the situation right away, without the blind optimism, I would have saved myself two years of grief and $30,000. Sure, the realtors I talked to were optimistic about the near future, and my partners both agreed to stay the course, but in the end, it was my own blind optimism (not anyone else’s) that did me in. And although I’m glad to say the condo has been sold, I’m still dealing with the loss.

Now, the problem is not that I made a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes. Today, I’m seeing this in a much broader context. And that is, that I sometimes continue making mistakes, long after seeing the results of those mistakes, because to admit the error means I now have to take responsibility and fix it. And that’s hard.

I did not want to admit that I would have to sell the property at a loss, because that scared me. Unfortunately, giving in to fear and denial meant that I faced an even bigger loss later on – one that was even scarier.

So, like I said, this isn’t really about an investment. It’s about what scares me. And it’s about waking up to the truth, and accepting personal accountability.

Not blame. Accountability.

Let’s shift gears with a completely different example of what I’m getting at.

Let’s consider a woman who has been emotionally, physically, mentally and sexually abused by her husband for the last 10 years. She stays in the marriage, because she’s convinced herself that it’s too hard to leave. Or that there isn’t really a problem. Or that it’s normal. Or that she has no control, because it’s obviously not her fault.

She has convinced herself of a lie so that she does not have to deal with the fear of getting out, of loving herself, of starting over, and (here’s the tough part) admitting to herself that the last ten years were a big mistake.

We aren’t hurting ourselves on purpose. We’re hurting ourselves because we don’t know any better. And I believe that we would know better if we didn’t let our fears blind us to the truth.

Us spiritual people like to live on faith. Faith is good. Optimism can be good. However, when optimism is blind to the truth of a situation, it can be an excuse we use – no wait – an excuse that I, yes I, use – to avoid facing what I’m afraid of.

Accountability means accepting that I have created the situation I am in, and that I have the power to change it. This takes true faith. Blind optimism let’s me sit and wait for Deus Ex Machina to fix everything for me, because I’m afraid I can’t handle it. Faith requires me to acknowledge my own power and responsibility, in addition to divine assistance.

Today, no matter how many mistakes I’ve made in the past, I pray that I will see the light of truth in all areas of my life. And more importantly, I have decided to accept the truth that I see. Because unless I am willing to accept the truth, and accept my own responsibility, my prayers can’t change anything.

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