Choices

Today I’m getting a repeat lesson in Choice. To be honest, I’ve been struggling. I know I’m not supposed to admit it (because clients want successful coaches), but yes, I have my days when I have to learn lessons over and over again. And today’s lesson is Choice.

Today I have to choose how I’m going to think, how I’m going to feel and what beliefs I am going to repeat inside my head. I have to choose how I will respond to what happens in my life today.

Today, a kid in Sudan rejoices at getting a whole egg for breakfast. Today, a lady in Calgary is angry because a dog pooped on her million-dollar lawn. Each response is a choice.

I have to choose, or it will be chosen for me. If I do not exercise my right to choose my thoughts, feelings and beliefs, then they will be chosen by my circumstances, by my old mental habits and by my social conditioning. To give up my right to choose is still a choice. I can either choose a positive response, and loving thoughts, or I can choose to let negative thoughts ruin my day (and my life).

This is easier said than done. Why do you think that most of us have not yet fully learned this lesson?

Because it’s hard. It’s hard to choose generosity when I feel broke. It’s hard to choose forgiveness when I feel victimized and self-righteous. It’s hard to choose clarity of purpose when the options are confusing. It’s hard to choose joy when I feel pain.

It’s not only hard right now – it’s a choice I have to make repeatedly, every moment of every day.

What choice are you making right now? It may be different than the choice you made a minute ago. Lots of us live with this myth that when you make a choice, then everything changes forever. I grew up in a religious environment where I learned that “accepting Christ” (a one-time choice) would change the rest of my life. Superstar success gurus like to push their “one simple decision” philosophies on the hungry masses – “It only takes five minutes and the effects last a lifetime!”

We want miracles done for us. And that’s okay. Miracles do happen – but only when we choose them right now. If I want the miracle of grace and peace, I must choose forgiveness right now. If I want the miracle of clarity, I must accept what I know is true right now.

Right now, I can choose gratitude, faith and compassion in the middle of my circumstances. Or, I can choose something else. I cannot live off the choice I made yesterday, or hope to make a better choice tomorrow. If I am waiting for my circumstances to change before I make a better choice, then that is a choice to be victimized by my circumstances.

You can choose your thoughts, feelings and beliefs right now. In fact, you already are choosing them.

If I’m sounding repetitive, that’s because the lesson has to be repeated so darned often. At least for me, anyway.

Right now, I’m choosing accountability.

And… okay, now.

And now.

Posted in accountability, consciousness, growth | Leave a comment

Getting there

Once, when I was traveling through Phoenix, I stepped onto the airport shuttle bus in the middle of a conversation between the driver and an elderly lady. (When I try to picture the driver today, I think of Morgan Freeman, but I’m sure they look nothing alike.)

The lady was asking: “Is it far?”

And the driver responded in this beautiful, smoky old voice, with: “That depend’ on where you’re comin’ from.”

So true. Sometimes my destination seems far away. A project looks like it will never get done. But then I look back at how far I’ve come, this year, or in 10 years, or in 25 years, and the perspective shifts. I’ve come a long way, baby. I have been through stuff I thought I’d never survive. I worked on projects that took months and never seemed to end (until the day they finally did).

How far do I have yet to go? Quite a ways.

But I know I can get there. After all, I’ve come this far.

Posted in growth | 2 Comments

Law of Attraction: Acting Crazy

Last night I had a dream about a crazy homeless guy in a park. Well, I can’t be sure he was homeless (since he only existed in my mind) but he was definitely crazy. He was shouting at people. He asked for their business cards and invited them to a networking event.

I heard him before I saw him. When he came around the corner, he was latched onto three people who were running to get away from him. But he kept up the pace, literally holding onto one of them, trying to start a relationship of some sort.

He was reasonably well dressed. Most homeless crazies wear dirty old clothes and smell like alcohol and urine. This guy was wearing a tie and blazer. He looked just like any respectable salesman would. It’s just that he had gone nuts.

Let’s call him Willy, after Willy Loman in “Death of a Salesman.”

When Willy saw me, he maintained his grip on the other people, and also held out his free hand to connect with me. I felt sorry for the trio of runners, so I grabbed him and released his prospects from the Willy Loman death grip.

Once I had Willy in my arms, he directed his pitch at me, talking about how he could help me, and about the next great seminar coming up in a couple weeks that would completely shift my paradigm. He asked for my card and promised to call.

I didn’t give him my card. I felt really sorry for him. I held him in my arms to try and ground him. He was shaking pretty bad. He couldn’t stand up any more. He needed lots of medication and a big hug. I headed for the nearest medical clinic to get this guy the help he needed.

You’re probably asking why I’m wasting your valuable time talking about a freaky dream. I’d like to assure you (in my best Willy Loman voice) that this is going somewhere. (And I’d also like to assure you that I have nothing against marketers in general, or with people that ask for my card.)

When I woke up, I realized: That Guy wasn’t out there somewhere – he was in my head. And the message was clear: Just Relax.

We all have our frustrations and moments of desperation, when it seems like we are working so very hard and not getting anywhere, and the bills are due and the cheques haven’t arrived and the baby won’t stop screaming and the boss is being a jerk and clients are asking for too much too soon and the Law of Attraction just seems to be attracting more and more crazies instead of what we really want.

And then, if we aren’t careful, desperation leaks out and poisons our relationships. We may think we are acting very calm, but the fear still leaks out. It comes out subconsciously, so people around us don’t even know why they need to avoid us or not return our calls; they just know that they feel uncomfortable with our energy.

I touched on this a little bit in my post called Attracting what you want (by not wanting it). When we get all crazy about something, our mania actually drives the object of our desires away from us. Customers need to get away from a pushy salesman. Women need to get away from that sleezy guy at the bar. I need an escape hatch when a stranger brings up a network marketing “opportunity” that I “simply can’t miss.”

Desperation separates us from each other, and pollutes our intentions. Faith connects us and inspires everyone around us.

So, just relax. (Easier said than done, I know, but the alternative is insanity.)

Let life be what it is. Love peacefully. Have faith. It will be okay.

Posted in business, Law of Attraction | 1 Comment

The Tree That Worried

I was going to write an article today about gratitude and receptivity (as part of my Law of Attraction series), but then I figured I’d do something a little different, just for fun.

I wrote a story about a tree.

“Oh, how exciting – a tree!” I can hear you all exclaim in wonder and fascination.

Yes, but this tree is different. This tree… but I get ahead of myself. Let’s start at the beginning.

Lester Pine (“Les” to his friends) was born and raised in rural Alberta, among spruce and poplars and other pine trees, in a national park near the Rocky Mountains. Les lived near a hiking trail, so unlike other trees in Alberta, he had regular contact with humans.

As Les observed humans, he saw that they had many amazing abilities that he did not: to speak, and move around, and make decisions about what they would do with their lives. He began to feel discontent, and prayed for an answer.

One day, an angel came to him, on a quiet night with a full moon.

“Hello, Lester,” said the angel, sitting on a nearby leaf. “I understand you have a request?”

“Oh, yes, dear Angel, I do! I have noticed that humans are able to think and make plans, and decide what to do with their lives. It looks so fascinating! I want to have that ability – to think and grow like a human. I know I can’t just get up and walk around like a human – that would be silly! – but I would like to have more control over my life, as humans do.”

The angel sighed. “This is a strange request,” she said, “but perhaps you will learn something from it. Very well. Your wish is granted.” And with that, the angel blew a tablespoon of light onto the young pine, kissed him farewell, and flew off to handle a plane landing in the Hudson River.

Les felt a great power wash over him. He wiggled his branches. He felt his roots in the cool earth. He became even more aware of the intricate social networks in the forest. Full of wonder and gratitude, he went to sleep for the night.

The next morning, Les woke up to bright rays of sunlight warming his branches, and filling his needles with energy. But it felt different somehow. Then he remembered his conversation with the angel the night before, and a thought occurred to him: With great power, comes great responsibility.

Then he did something he had never done before: he carefully observed the amount of sunlight he was taking in. Then another thought occurred to him: the sun had helped him grow his whole life, and he had never paid the sun back!

He panicked. He knew he had nothing to offer the sun in return. He felt guilty. Then he did the only thing he could logically think of: he made a decision to limit the amount of photosynthesis he would allow in his needles until he could figure out a way of restoring balance to his debts. This gave him a sense of control. “This must be how humans do it,” he thought to himself. Then he felt good because he could do things that other trees couldn’t.

A week later, it rained. (It doesn’t rain much in Alberta.) As the earth soaked up the refreshing rain, Les could feel his roots absorbing a lot more moisture than they had in the past few weeks. The ground had been so dry, but now it was very wet. As his roots did their normal root thing, Les realized that he had new responsibilities to control his bodily functions, as humans do.

Yet another thought occurred to him: With water being so scarce, and the glaciers melting, and forest fire season just around the corner, the forest needed all the moisture it could get! What if his roots sucked up all the moisture and there wasn’t any left later on when he needed it more?

Aware of the scarcity of water, Les consciously chose to ration the amount he would take in that day, and the next day as well.

Unfortunately, within a couple days, all the other trees and plants in the neighborhood had absorbed whatever moisture still existed in the topsoil, and the rest had filtered down to the water table. Les was left a little thirsty.

“What greedy neighbors I have,” he thought. “They just go and take whatever they want, without any thought for me. And now, here I am, absolutely parched, with nothing left to drink!” A grudge settled into his trunk.

As the months went on, Les got used to his responsibilities. He did his best to control the water and sunlight he took in, and was grateful for what little he had. He tried to get other plants to follow his example, but they only laughed.

As summer warmth turned to autumn’s freak snow storms, the deciduous trees did their annual death routine, and went to sleep for the winter, while the coniferous trees settled down under the blankets of snow. Les tried to shake off the snow. It had never bothered him before, but it did now. He wished he could change Nature to the way it should be, but he could not. He suffered in silence.

Finally, Spring came around again, after what seemed like forever. And with Spring came new growth. It wasn’t long before Les started noticing roots from a nearby poplar almost racing through his territory. Naturally, he was appalled.

“Don’t worry about it,” a nearby relative told him. “Poplars mature faster than pines. It’s all part of the natural order of things. You’ll grow soon enough.”

But worry had become a close companion in the year since the angel’s visit. With his constant sense of indebtedness for the water and sunlight he had absorbed, and the competition with other trees for the earth they grew in, Les just couldn’t take it any more. He nearly snapped.

That night, he prayed again, this time for help in dealing with his poverty and constant stress.

And once more, the same angel came and sat down on the same leaf that she had appeared on a year before.

“Hello, Lester,” said the angel. “I understand you have a request?”

“Oh, yes, dear Angel, I do! I have had so much struggle in the year since we met. I have no idea how to deal with the guilt I feel about all the sunlight that has been given to me, and the inconsiderate neighbors, and now, others are growing faster than I am. I don’t know what to do! Can you please help me with my personal growth?”

The angel smiled. “It appears that this year of human thinking has had the effect I expected.”

“What do you mean?” asked Les.

“All the rest of Nature has no worry at all about the things you obsess over,” the Angel replied softly. “Your siblings all accept the gifts they are given each day, with no guilt, and no jealousy. Each day, they are taken care of. Life never worries about what it should do, only what it can do. It grows freely and fully, as its Creator intended. It never holds back, never holds a grudge, never keeps accounts.

“But since you have the ability to think like a human, you have forgotten your place in the divine order. You have forgotten that you may take in as much as you can, for it is freely given, just as your brothers do around you.

I’m afraid the only cure for your stress, dear Lester, is to give up your human insanity and go back to the peace of being a pine.”

Les thought about this for a moment (as only he could do). He considered the anxiety of the past year. He knew it would break him if he tried to keep it up.

“I accept,” he told the angel. “Please, grant me peace.”

The angel smiled even wider than her face (which only angels and fairies can do). “I’m glad we have learned from this year of suffering,” she said. “Very well. Your wish is granted.”

And with that, the angel blew a tablespoon of light onto the wise young pine, kissed him farewell, and flew off to share the story with a writer in Calgary.

Meanwhile, Les relaxed. Instead of trying to control his growth, he simply let it happen, as the rest of Nature did. He soaked up the sunshine and the rain, each in its turn, fully and gratefully. He danced in the wind, and rested peacefully under the snow. He didn’t have to control or change anything. He felt nothing but gratitude and joy.

And he lived happily ever after.

Posted in gratitude, Law of Attraction, story | 9 Comments

Law of Attraction: Finding the Passion

Yesterday we talked about how the Law of Attraction only works well if you are focused on your own true goals and passions, and not on what other people want for you.

Over the years, many of us have gotten sidetracked by outside messages from schools, parents, employers and advertisers about what we should want for ourselves. How do we find clarity now, without the distractions, so we can focus clearly on our own true passions?

Today, let’s try something different. Instead of me giving you answers, I’m going to give you questions, so that you can find the answers within yourself.

I invite you to go through this quiz below, and pick the questions that grab your attention. Don’t avoid the tough ones, but don’t get caught up on questions that don’t connect with you. Some questions will uncover your true passions, while others will uncover false goals. Good luck!

  1. What goals have been given to you by other people?
  2. What goals have you thought of yourself?
  3. Which ones send shivers down your spine?
  4. What brings tears to your eyes?
  5. Finish this sentence: “Why doesn’t somebody just…?”
  6. What problem have you solved for yourself that you could help others with?
  7. What goals have you set to help you achieve other goals, but are now draining you?
  8. What work are you doing because you are good at it (but don’t enjoy)?
  9. What are you doing because other people think it suits you?
  10. What are you doing because it’s a continuation of something you used to like?
  11. If someone else agreed to take on your projects, would you feel a sense of relief at letting it go?
  12. What expectations did your mother and father have for you, that you are still trying to live up to?
  13. What would you do for free?
  14. What do you do for fun?
  15. What did you want to become when you were a kid?
  16. When your friends say what they like most about you, what is the thing that comes up most?
  17. What reputation do you enjoy?
  18. What reputation has become a burden?
  19. Do you ever have dreams of being famous – even just locally? If so, for what?
  20. Picture a room full of people giving you a standing ovation for a major achievement. You feel very fulfilled, grateful and proud. What are they applauding?
  21. Think of five things you’ve done in your life that you’ve been really proud of. Do they have anything in common?
  22. What books, magazines or news articles do you spend most of your time reading?
  23. What course would you sign up for if time and money were no object?
  24. What feelings do you value most?
  25. What are you trying to do to create these feelings?
  26. Are you getting the results you want from your efforts?
  27. What activity would you stop doing if it had no tangible result?
  28. What do you enjoy doing for its own sake?
  29. What are the end results you actually want, aside from the means?
  30. Why do you want that? How will that make you feel?
  31. If you could solve one of your own problems right now, what would it be?
  32. If you could help other people solve the same problem with you, as a team effort, would you?
  33. If you could assemble a team to solve any problem in the world, what would it be?
  34. What problem do people complain about that annoys you because you know the answer is so simple?
  35. What would it take to help people with that answer?
  36. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be? Why?
  37. What did you ask for last Christmas? Why?
  38. What store (or department) do you most like to shop in? Why?
  39. When you waste time, what do you do?
  40. What inspires you?
  41. When was the last time you felt your heart bursting with gratitude? Describe the situation.
  42. If someone gave you $100 billion, what would you buy for yourself? Why?
  43. What would you spend the rest of the money on? Why?
  44. If you woke up to discover your house in flames, what one object (aside from family members) would you grab first? (aside from the fire extinguisher)
  45. What does this object represent to you? What do you do with it? What would you miss if you lost it?
  46. What one question (or answer) on this quiz will haunt you all day? Why?

If you had any ‘aha’ moments you would like to share, please click on “comments” below and share with the rest of us!

Posted in business, Law of Attraction, service | 3 Comments